Tree planting service project

I love it when my heart is in the right place, and I still don't have to do any real work.

Why is it...

that 1 hour power outages always end up being 2 hour power outages?

GWB

From tonight's press conference, "I can only talk to myself."

Well George, that is just rad.

Slept in my clothes

I hate it when I do that. At least I had my shoes off last night though. When I fall asleep in my clothes it usually means one thing. I am tired.

Sunshine!

Gives you cancer. It's like Cain and Abel. One wanted to be good, and the other wasn't Abel!

Free air

In the alley behind the Holiday Oil on Highland Drive and 39th, there is an air pump that is FREE. Usually these machines cost at least one quarter, so hey- this thing is a bargain. Free. Free is always a bargain. It's always the best bargain. Unless someone is paying you to take the item, which is pretty rare. So I'm gonna go ahead and say "free" is the best bargain out there.

Plus since it is in the alley on the west side of the building, there is rarely a line. Free, and no wait. Some things are free, but require a long wait. So the COST is your TIME. Is that really free? No. Because as they say, or have said, "Time is money."

This air is free and you don't have to wait for it.

Go fill something up with air. Quick.

grew a moustache and a mullet

got a job at chick-fil-a... siting artistic differences the band broke up in May.

Train your dog...

in two simple steps

a joke

Q: When is broccoli sad?
A: When you eat it!

they have it

The new rapper mask

shower scare

Monday morning I was taking a shower. It seemed like any other normal shower. Until... I leaned over to wash my leg, and found a lump on my skin about the size of an M&M to the right of my knee cap. It was all covered with hair and was pretty nasty looking.

I started wondering where it could have come from. I had chopped down a tree over the weekend and so I was thinking maybe I got some weird bump in the process, or maybe some variety of tree living beetle had bitten me or laid eggs in my skin.

These were the thoughts going through my head when suddenly...

I touched the lump of skin and it MOVED. It was attached to my leg at one end an free on the other.

That's right folks. A skin tag.

I am not even going to Google image "skin tag" because it will make me throw up.

My mind raced. How had a skin tag grown on my leg over the weekend? Do they grow that fast? Had I gotten some weird infection from the apricot tree?

I then thought of all the people I met in Puerto Rico who had skin tags. See for some reason over there they never removed them, and oh man- I saw some dandys.

Then I thought about how embarassing it would be to wear shorts.

I closed my eyes, then reached down too touched it. To my horror it ripped off of my skin. Now I almost screamed. I had ripped the skin tag off my leg. I looked down to see if I was bleeding.

Yeah... it was pink bubble gum that one of the kids had somehow gotten in our bed.

Not a skin tag.

Nope.

The Fam

I can't even think of anything to say... just... wow...

Please

Guys- For the sake of everything that is good in the world, I sure hope you know what you are doing.



http://www.adobe.com/aboutadobe/invrelations/adobeandmacromedia.html

Oh yeah... and you too

Sundays are for

taking long naps

To the criminal up the street

ahhh yeeeah. You see what happens when you mess with the Fuller posse? Don't bring your America's Most Wanted bottom around these parts thinking we ain't gonna reprazent! Have fun in the slammer with your new boyfriend "Blade".

"Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"

Remember how on planet of the apes, you end up finding out the apes had actually started out as circus chimps who got really smart, then went back in time and enslaved man?

Remember how you thought "chimps could never get THAT smart."

Then remember how right after that you thought, "or could they????".

Then... remember how you were kind of freaked out for a while?

Prepare to be kind of freaked out about that whole chimps taking over the world idea again:
http://www.smileygram.com/funnyanimalvideos.com/karatechimp/

taxes

don't forget!

MEAN

Being mean means mean things mean more to me than meaningful ones.

The magic 8 ball was right

you ARE stupid...

This is a...

15 baby iPod



For the full story click here.

Is that guy dead???

Dude- you've all seen this billboard right?



Is it just me, or is that guy dead? I mean like for real. I think it is a picture of a dead guy.


Look at the shade of his skin. The mouth slightly open. The hands together on his chest. For rizl- this is some gross joke by a twisted art department.

I mean I guess when you think about it, you could save a bundle on stock photography by only using pics of dead people...

A couple poems by Seth

Pocket Farm Vomit by Seth

The farm is in my pocket
The farm is on a rocket
The farm has a pig, a cow
and a horse wearing a locket
they stock it or they stocked it but they stopped it when they popped it.
My dad is Davey Crockett
so chalk one up for Sprockets

---------------------------------------------------

Electric Pantomime by Seth

Fine you are fine
Electric Pantomime
Fine
Just like a real pantomime
That is fine
Fine with me anyway just fine.
Do that one where it looks like you are leaning against a wall.
Classic and fine, both at the same time
Fine
Best of all I like the tall glass wall
It isn’t fine at first because you can’t seem to find your way out
Now you find a small hole, but how will you fit out a hole that small?
Stretch it yes Stretch it big and tall, now crawl out of it all.
That is fine, I think it is fine anyway
Fine just fine, My electric pantomime
Fine you are Fine
And those who oppose the technology age?
Those who oppose you Electric Pantomime?
Shoot them with your built in laser beam
Fine just Fine
Electric Pantomime

3x

I got this body wash from Old Spice. You know the stuff. It's like soap only drippier, and you use a foam ball or lacey buff puff thingy to wash yourself with it.

This particular bottle of body wash says on it in large letters "3x as clean guaranteed".

How the wicket can they possibly make a claim like that? First of all, I didn't know there were levels of clean. I mean if you use soap I would say there is on level: "soapy clean." What else is there?

I can see saying something like "Extra clean guaranteed" because that is a sort of vague reference that no one would really pay attention to. But 3x as clean? It makes it sounds as if they did scientific tests involving 100s of adults in showers using a variety of soaps, and then a "clean measuring machine" to determine how much cleaner their wash enabled showerers to get.

This blog sucks. I'm done. It had potential but I ruined it. Sorry.

But be sure to tune in next week when my blog will be 3x funnier guaranteed!

New look!

same great taste

That photo of me... yeah it's authentic... not retouched... I really am that hot

boo yah III

Check this out

That's right. It's that boo yah photo from stevo rendered as text.

BOO YAH!

I don't know you,

but you seem cool.

mmmm Flan

rain

All this rain means puddles, and puddles mean splashing, and that reminds me of an experience I had on my mission:

It was a rainy day just like today. My comp and I were driving down the street in Levittown. I was behind the wheel.

Suddenly I see a HUGE puddle about 50 yards in front of us. I thought, "sweet!". There were no cars around, so I didn't even touch the brakes. As we got closer, my companion started looking at me all nervous. I acted like I didn't see him, or the puddle. He kept looking ahead, then at me, then straight ahead again.

"SPLASH!" We hit the puddle so hard that the wave went higher than the car (it was a mazda 323). I chuckled and continued driving.

"What are you doing?!?" he asked. "Just hitting a puddle." I replied. "Didn't you see that man back there?" he yelled.

Suddenly I felt very sick. My head hurt. And my tummy. And my heart. I looked in the rear view mirror, and sure enough, there was a very wet man sitting by the side of the road glaring angrily in our direction.

The thing was HE WAS WEARING CAMOUFLAGE so I had not even seen him! There was an army base in the city and he must have been waiting for a bus to pick him up and take him to the base.

It was at this time on my mission that my testimony of camouflage really started to blossom.

Becky

"bouncing is good for your lymph nodes"
Becky Harding

no playa haters

This just in. Blogging is good for your health. So yeah- all you haters can be quiet now:
http://www.blogherald.com/2005/03/03/blogging-is-good-for-your-health/

APRIL FOOLS!

Yeah- see you probably thought I had defaulted on the Moustache Treaty. Not so. This was all a strategically planned prank. Me miss a day? No way...