Dmode's strange apparel choices

Have any of you noticed Dmode's clothing lately? Yesterday he was wearing a pink boa. And today? Well I'll just let you take a peak at his web cam:

http://d-mode.ww.com

My Blogs vs. Dmode's Blogs

My blogs are so much better than Dmode's. The only problem is that Dmode is the only guy who reads my blogs. Dmode on the other hand gets hundreds of visits to his blog every minute. Donde esta la justicia?

Sealed for your protection

I opened a bottle of salsa yesterday and saw a familiar message. "Sealed for your protection". This message is puzzling for 2 reasons:

1. The use of these seals seems inconsistent. Sometimes, like on Gatorade Propel Sports Drinks, the seal seems like overkill since it also has the plastic wrap around the opening. Then on other products (I can't think of any, but I know I've noticed some), it seems like they should have a seal, and they don't.
   
2. Is it really sealed for the consumer's protection? I don't think so. In fact I think it is sealed because if someone were to slip something in my salsa and I got sick, I would sue the nuts off the company who made the product. So in reality it should say "Sealed for OUR protection so that you don't sue our nuts off if you get poisened" or something like that.

New invention to lower your auto gas bill

This really works. Bill Gephardt tested in on the news last night:

View the commercial!

People have the wrong impression

From a personals banner ad:

I aleady know who I am voting for in 2008

I mean how can you not vote for a guy who has 8+ SNL appearances plus a wicked Fatboy Slim video under his belt.

A little joke I've been playing

For the past little while, I've been taking nightly trips to Dmode's
house and pooing on his lawn. It's pretty awesome.

Apple Sues Elderly Chinese Woman

Beijing, China - A lawsuit is currently underway that has most folks scratching their heads... and ears. Apple Computers, creator of the ever popular iPod personal mp3 player, is suing a 78 year old Chinese woman under the premise that her name "defames the iPod brand."

Iy Paad Suk (pronounced I Pod Suck), was flabbergasted when she received the cease and desist order from Apple. Speaking through a translator she said, "My lawyer says I need to change my name or face a lawsuit of $2.5 million dollars. I've had this name for 52 years! Ever since I got married!"

"Apple has worked too hard to build the iPod brand." says Apple spokesman Don Billings. "They can't afford to have this woman blatantly tearing that brand down every time she says her name!" Billings says he feels that Apple has been more than fair to Suk. "We offered her the chance to keep her first and middle name, and just change her last name." Billngs says. "We even offered to pay her royalties if she would change her last name to 'Rok' (rock) or 'Kul' (cool) which are both popular last names in China.

But Suk isn't budging. "My last name signifies my marriage to my dear husband Hei Yoo. He passed away 6 years ago and my name is my way of remembering and honoring him."

"Downright ludicrous and immature!" replies Billings to Suk's statement about honoring her dead husband. "She needs to get with the program! She will either come away from this as a well-paid spokesperson for Apple, or flat broke!"

As if the story couldn't be any more ironic, Suk (seen above) is actually an iPod owner. "I take it where ever I go." she says. "It's so nice to listen to my Justin Timberlake and 50 cent on the subway and walking through town."

A court hearing date has been set for September 22nd, but Billings is confident the matter will be resolved out of court.

cheap laptops + angry mob = TROUBLE!

Blandine Alexander, 33, said one woman standing in front of her was so desperate to retain her place in line that she urinated on herself.

Whole Story >>

Utah's new governor?

Santaquin has a new resident:



"The folks at the Subway say he's been in and had a sandwich," Green said.

Ahh Gary- I knew we had something in common. We both like a good sub.

Whole Story >>

Food of the day

mmmmmmmm



tacos

Ugliest Dog in San Francisco 3 years in a row

Sam, the above-pictured canine, is a 14-year-old pedigreed Chinese crested owned by Susie Lockheed of Santa Barbara, California. In June 2005, Sam won the "World's Ugliest Dog" title at the Sonoma-Marin Fair contest for the third consecutive year.



Hey nice name for a dog you big fat jerks!

Alert! Discrimination!

It's time we water drinkers join together to fight against the cold shoulder we receive in restaurants. Yes- any water drinker knows exactly what I am talking about.

Getting a refill is virtually impossible.

Go ahead. Test this out. But be prepared to go thirsty.

One day while out to lunch with friends, order a water instead of a soft drink. Your friends' soft drinks will be refilled before they even finish, while you'll have to ask 3 or 4 times before getting a single refill of water.

This discrimination stems from the erroneous idea that water drinkers are shorting their waiter. When it comes down to it, your tip will be approximately .29 cents smaller than the soda drinker's tip.

Next time I order a water I am going to hand the waiter .50 cents and say, "Keep the water coming pal. I just tipped you almost double what these soda payers will."

Then I'll for sure get all the water I want. And probably some waiter spit too.

Friends don't let friends play computer games for 50 hours

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8888579/

In summary:

• Man quits jobs to play games
• Man goes to Internet Cafe
• Man plays game for 50 hours straight
• Man's mom is worried
• Man's friends come in and try to stop him
• Man says he'll go home after one last game
• Man dies of heart failure minutes later
• Man goes home to that mansion in the sky

Que Onda

I dunno I saw a puppet at Tang's with a mullet and a popsicle.

Foosball

Lately we've been playing foosball here at work.



It's rad.

We have come up with some terms that you may want to use if you are ever in a game of foosball.

• Fiver - When the 5 man scores
• Toasty- A deflected (blocked) kick that goes straight into the opponents goal. (See also - Cracker Jack)
• Jungle - A serve that goes straight into any goal. (These count by the way)
• 3fense - The name of the last line of defense men which consists of the goalie and 2 wingmen (depending on the type of table you have)
• Grandmama - Stuffing yourself
• Gobble Gobble Gobble - Blocking a teamates shot
• Slow roller - A goal shot that was moving so slow that it should have been stopped multiple times
• ahhhh-- ohhhh ahhhhh - A shot that ALMOST goes in
• Cowbell - A shot where the ball hits the goal walls back and forth before going down

Go ahead and use them. They are great fun and I guarantee you won't be dissapointed!

War's not off dmode. I'm just bored with it.

Dmode, Abe and Me

Dmode and Me